Bit His What?
by Kiki on The Momo Tree
Summary: You, Ed, Riza and Hughes spy on Colonel Roy for a while... Only to find out something you or Ed didn't want to know. After the ruckus, you go home with Ed... and Ed tells you something... Ed/OC fluff one-shot. For LeFay Strent's one-shot contest


**Me : Ok, this a one-shot for LeFay Strent, so I hope she enjoys it and loves it and possibly chooses me for the winner... AS IF.**

**Al: Your so negative..**

**Me: Damn right I am.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA and if I did, hughes would still be alive and I would've been a voice actor in ;D and also, I would've added a few things like-**

**Florence + the Vocaloids: SHUT UP AND GET ON WITH IT.**

**Me: How the hell did you get in here? SECURITY!**

**F+TV: shut up. *walks away***

**Me: ;3; so mean.. (based on a skit I remember that some of my friends made at an expo lmao, Riza is a little ooc though)**

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><p><strong> "Riza why are we here?" <strong>You whined, you were sitting behind a bush in front of an inn with Riza, Hughes, and Ed.

"Shh..." Riza shushed you.

"So why are we here again?" Ed pestered, looking quite annoyed, squatting in front of the bush staring into a closed window. You have always really like Ed, you met him a long time ago when he got stuck in a stable with a rather... large horse.

"I just saw Colonel run into the inn with _six women. **SIX.**_" Riza said, growling, her voice sounded arggivated and angered. Her eyes flickered in annoyance, you checked around, it was dark and lonely. Ed sat there sighing loudly.

"So?" He said lazily.

"WHAT?" Riza shouted, noticing Hughes had face-palmed. You couldn't help but shudder, Roy was quite a ladies man but this, oh, this was disgusting. Knowing Ed, he probably knew nothing about... this... um... stuff Roy does...

no...they didnt't.."No, not really." Ed said flashing a smile at you. You blushed and looked down, fiddling with your hair. Hughes and Riza started arguing over the fact that was rather stupid keeping track of Roy. Ed's hair was in a loose braid and it looked as though he only woke up seconds ago... but he looked good either way...

"It's not very necessary lieutenant, I have two people watching over him." Hughes argued, rolling your eyes you turned over to Riza who was fuming in anger.

"IT'S NECESSARY IF I SAY SO HUGHES!" Riza practically screamed, shattering your eardrum, rolling over you knocked into Ed, who fell over with you. Getting back up, you blushed and didn't make eye contact with Ed at all.

"Whatever you say but one of those people was Sergeant Laurel, and her job is to literally spoil most of his endeavors." Hughes sighed in defeat and slumped over, his lower lip stuck out in a pout. Riza rolled her eyes and watched the window carefully, her hair was falling out slowly.

"Look, I'm awfully busy so I'm just gonna-" As if on cue, right after Ed said, Roy busted down the inn's door screaming. Ed stared at Roy as he ran past you. You stared at him, thinking. _No, they didn't... Did they?_

"Right on time." Hughes commented, watching his friend run for his life. Something seemed to spark in Ed's idiot mind because a devious smile crept onto his face. You took a step back, he looked like he was ready to murder someone.

"I'm gonna investigate." He proposed. Your mouth hung open, he grabbed your hands and pulled you along, Hughes came to your rescue and quickly told him;

"Ed, I think you'd better sit this one out." He said, pushing him back down behind the bush.

"No way, we better go see what scared him so bad, oh man, this better be good." Ed said, still taking you with him. You tried pulling back but he held your hand in his automail hand so there was no escape.

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><p>After walking down for a long time, you both finally got to the inn's door. Riza and Hughes following behind both you and Ed. You got a bad feeling about the inn, knowing why Roy had gone in with SIX women. (I'm serious you better know why... I'll give you a hint if you don't know... men and women do this to have... kids… Ugh... this is awkward).<p>

A woman walked out, her hair spiked and she was wearing a very man-appealing dress, shoulders showing and her skirt was short and flow-y. Plaid red hung down the front and the rest was blue and white. She was attractive, you thought.

"Hey! Hey, hi. I'm whoa," He said actually noticing the girl's outfit and the fact she was getting too close. "I'm Ed Elric, the world famous, Fullmetal Alchemist."

"Sure whatever." She said, getting very close, he backed away still looking at her.

"Can I ask you a few questions?" He asked innocently, the girl shrugged. "Great." He said, and then a started rambling about other things and turned to her on last time.

"So, um, what did you actually do to him to make him so afraid?" Ed asked, smiling, the girl chuckled.

"Well, me and the girls were having a little "Harmless Fun" with the colonel and then," You were not liking were this was going at all. "well, you see one of our girls... bit... him." She said, chuckling nervously.

"Ah, so the colonel is afraid of being bit..." Ed said, rubbing his chin with a smile. You gagged and bent over.

"Ew..." You groaned, Ed turned to you confused. Obviously, Ed had no idea what this girl was talking about at all. You continued to feel rather, unpleasant, throughout the conversation.

"Okay, so where exactly did you bite him?" Ed asked.

"ED!" Riza and Hughes screamed, you felt your face turn red, idiot. You smacked Ed upside the head and scolded him for his stupidity.

"You idiot Ed!"

"Ed, I think we need to have... well a talk." Riza said her face light pink.

"What kind of talk?" Ed said backing up until he was standing next to you. You laughed, oh dear, not this talk. This was that talk that... never mind. You looked over to Ed who was now looking at you for help.

"Yeah, I agree with them." You said with a wide smile. Ed stared at you in dismay. His face clearly read "_ARE YOU ON THEIR SIDE?" _

"Hughes, you're a man, you tell him." Riza said, pushing Hughes to Ed who wrapped his arm around Ed like a brother would do. You watched them and listened, you couldn't wait to hear Hughes brilliant explanation.

" You see Ed, when a man and a woman... or in Roy's case, several women, love each other very, very much-" Hughes got cut off by an irritated Ed.

"That's great, but I was getting some good information from that girl so I'm gonna go back to her." Ed pushed Hughes away and marched back over to what you could officially call a Sleaze, because obviously, she _had_ done **_it_ **various times...

"I don't think that being bitten in that way could be considered good information, Ed." Riza said, rubbing her now aching temples, you shuffled your feet against the floor. It was getting really cold, but hell, you stayed because this was too good to pass on. Ed learning about what women and men do when they love each other... very much... Oh, dear.

"Well, why not? I could use that tactic against him in a future fight!" Ed said enthusiastically, you felt your face turn red again and this time you started to giggle. Riza's face turned a mixture of green and pale. Hughes, on the other hand was on the phone talking to Gracia. "What?" Ed snapped, you still laughed, falling to the floor.

"What?" Ed asked once again, then Riza got on her knees to be closer to his fight, then her got a little ticked.

"Oh, that's funny." He snorted, you were holding laughter, this was too good. You stared at them as they had their little conversation.

"When the lady here, said that the girl that bit Roy, she meant in a place you'd never want to be bitten." Riza explained. Ed, still didn't get it. He looked very confused thinking extremely hard. Ed was thinking like he was solving a problem on a test.

"Wait, you mean like on the" You waited intently to see if he had gotten the answer, your feet getting colder on the icy floor. "neck?" He finished, you face-palmed, and smacked him upside the head for then 2nd time today.

"She did what?" Hughes said on the phone loudly, and very excitedly. You looked over, they were probably talking about their daughter, who you thought was absolutely adorable even thought Hughes did have a tendency to talk about her a little too much. Looking back to the Sleaze, who was getting way to close to Ed and you were so ready to kick her and send her flying, now had her fingers slowly crawling DOWN his back. Riza and Ed were still talking, but stupid Ed either, didn't notice or didn't care. You were pretty sure he didn't notice

"Did you get a picture?" Hughes said distracting you for a split second.

"No, Ed, think about a place you'd never want to be kicked-" Riza said, pausing for a moment, "ever." She ended and looked quite happy with her phrasing, because of course she didn't want to have to say that word to Ed, a fifteen year old boy.

"HOH!" He screamed, jumping out of the Sleazes grasp, realization had finally come to him, he now knew where they had bit him.

"OHHH!" He yelled, getting behind you, you laughed so hard, it hurt.

"I CAN'T BELIVE I DIDN'T SEE IT!" Hughes yelled angrily into the phone, to his wife who was probably laughing right now.

"I'M GONNA THROW UP!" He gagged. You looked to Riza, and then after, hearing Ed rant a little to much over this she finally spoke.

"Hey, do you mind taking him home? He looks sick." She said jabbing a thumb to a quivering Ed, who couldn't even look at the Sleaze.

"Sure." You responded, taking Ed's arm, you dragged him down the cold streets, your feet crunching against the snow on the floor. Ed stopped for a second and you turned, silently hoping he wouldn't throw up.

"Are you ok?" You asked timidly, Ed looked up and smiled.

"Yeah, I'm fine, that was just gross though." You nodded, it was indeed disgusting. Roy was such a player... You walked with him, and he grabbed your hand, this was quite unlike him though... you didn't care. He decided to run still holding onto your hand.

"DAMMIT ED HOLD ON!" You screamed, yanking down, sending him flying down the road. He hit the floor with a smash, you laughed and he got up, running to you he pushed you down.

"What did she bite?" You said quickly. Ed turned pink and rolled the other way. You were never going to let him live this down. You sat up and looked at him.

"I can't believe I love an idiot." You said quietly, Ed noticed, and he got a devious grin. SHIT. You thought silently.

"What was that?" He asked. You looked away, he tugged on your sleeve.

"What did ya say?"' he asked, you smacked his face and he yelped in suprise.

"I can't believe I fell in love with an abusive girl." He muttered, You looked at him wide-eyed.

"What did you say?" You said, his face turned crimson and he buried his face in the snow. You laughed and fell backwards.

"I'll tell you what I said if you say what you said." Ed looked up at the idea, then after a long time of thinking, he finally made up his mind. Nodding slowly you both got up and got face to face, both of your faces red.

"I" You started off.

"You." Ed said staring into your eyes, you felt a lump form in your throat, his golden eyes capturing your eyes. You, remember the first time you met him, and everything that happened today, which you will have to call: Bit His What? Thank you Roy. Without Roy, none of this would've happened.

"Love you." You said, looking away, Ed smiled instantly and hugged you tightly, he chuckled which only made you blush even harder.

"I. Love you." He said, and it was his turn to blush, his face fuming in red puffs.

"Come on, let's go home." Ed said, getting up and picking you up too. He set you down and held your hands.

"Now Ed," You said, an evil grin spreading across your face.

"What...?" He asked suspiciously.

"Bit His What?" You asked.

"SHUT UP! I'M GONNA THROW UP!" He screamed.

"BIT HIS WHAT?" You asked once more, laughing so hard.

"BIT HIS NOTHING! THEY NEVER BIT ANYTHING SH-" He ranted, you shut him up by placing a small kiss on his lips which made him stand their flabbergasted.

"I-I..." He couldn't even speak.

"Now, Ed, I'll say it once more... Bit his-"

He kissed you, full on, just to get to shut up for a second. He kissed passionately. His lips were actually soft. You fell into his arms and sighed. He held you close.

"You still haven't answered." You said poking his stomach. Growling, he finally said.

"I will never let you go if you never say that again."

"Hm... Ok!" You said climbing onto his back.

"I still kinda want an answer..." You spoke softly into his ear.

"Shut up." He silenced you, carrying you back home.

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><p><strong>How'd I do? Good? Bad? It's my first...no wait 2nd one-shot for FMA so idk. I loved this skit so much :D Hope you enjoyed LeFay Strent... I enjoyed typing it up. It's so fluffffffyyyy~! Review please?<strong>


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